Holiday Update

We received so many calls, texts and emails from friends and family wanting news about Ruby and sending us congratulations. But this one, we received from Alex on Friday, completely unconnected to Ruby, was one of the funniest I've ever received. I hope he doesn't mind me copying it in here but it's one I want to remember.


Hi chaps

Thought you want to get an update on me and the Wife's luxury, no expenses spared, once in a life time holiday to Asia :
Day 1 : Get told by work that I might be sacked but not sure. Find out at end of the day that I'm saved because I'm "cheap" :
Day 2 : Arrive at Bangkok and wait 4 hours for luggage due to "misunderstanding" : Eventually arrive a grotty hotel in Bangkok City and eat a Thai Curry (too hot and I sweat for a few hours afterwards), look at ladyboys and visit a bar with band who play the Scorpions "Wind of change", very well and a lot.
Day 3 : Arrive in Cambodia having spent the entire flight trying not to soil myself due to food poisoning. I eventually give in on the taxi to our hotel and explode with a look of shame (tinged with relief) : Robyn and Taxi driver not impressed. Arrive at "boutique" hotel. For boutique read overpriced, aircon and phone not working and situated a short distance from the main city sewer network.
Day 4 and 5 : Look at ancient temples (enough said). My only solace was watching England v South Africa but that was waylaid due to a "misunderstanding" with Cambodia's entire Television network .
Day 6 : Go to luxury resort in Thailand although internal flight delayed so miss transfer to island : Spend night in a 2 star hotel in Phuket, sipping cocktails and watching a Thai Roy Orbison impersonater.
Day 7 - Get to Thai Island - quite nice but in middle of monsoon.
Day 7 to 10 - spend most days in our "luxury bungalow" as have been advised not to venture out of room due to falling coconuts. Storm nearly rips our roof of.
Day 11 - Had enough : Get very drunk with a big ozzie chap Brendan who plays ozzie rules and who is on his honeymoon (not a good mix if you consider that Brendan spent the first night of his honeymoon asleep in a park in thailand because he got so drunk) ; anyway, we get drunk, have a cuddle and an armwrestle and I get put into bed by one of the resort staff (robyn not happy)
Day 12 - Sunshine ! - we both get burnt and mild sun stroke
Day 13 and 14 : eat seafood and watch a big powermouse by the pool doing pressups. We then avert our attention to a leathery german man and his young thai wife (for young read 13)
Day 15 ; get told by BA that we need to make our way to Singapore the following day to get home. 6 hours and GBP 2000 later mission accomplished. Involving a trip tommorow of 3 flights and a private speedboat.
If we do get back on Sunday then we can't wait to see you. If we don't then its been nice knowing you